It’s Been 11 Years….

Wow!  It’s almost impossible to believe it’s been 11 years since tragedy struck our lives and changed our world forever.  11 years ago today Charleston lost 9 brave men in the largest line of duty death at that time since 9/11.  Those men became known as the Charleston 9 around our country and around the world.  But to me, to us, they were so much more.  To me, Brandon was my fiance and my future.  To John, those 9 men were his friends, co workers, and brothers.  To us, they were family.

The past 11 years have been a whirlwind.  There have been ups and downs and so much emotion I don’t know how I possibly survived it.  But rather than focus on that one day, that one moment, when our lives were forever changed, I try to focus on how lucky I am for what I had before and what I have now.

I am truly one of the luckiest women in the world.  I have been blessed with what many people don’t find once in their life.  I have had two of the most amazing men in the world as a part of my life.  I’ve had the incredible fortune of unconditional love from a partner not once, but twice!  I’ve felt more love in 36 years than many people will know in a lifetime.  Granted, I’ve felt extreme pain and heartache, but I would never ask for that to be taken away because that would mean I wouldn’t have had the amazing love that came before the pain.

Brandon was kind, gentle giant.  A loving man who was built like a brick house.  Anyone who knew him knew he was just a giant teddy bear.  And he loved me like it was his mission!  I’m not blinded, I know our lives were not perfect and neither was he.  But I am so lucky to have had such a great man and to have been loved so deeply by him for the years we were together.  And to know, in my heart and soul, that above anything in the world he wanted for me to be happy.

And after loosing him, after hitting my rock bottom and thinking I would never feel that love and support again, I was blessed with a second love.  God granted me the greatest gift a person can get a second time.  And I am so eternally grateful.  John has been my rock and support.  When many people wanted to tell me how to grieve, how to live, and what I should do, John supported me.  John grew to love me and together we have gotten through it all and to where we are today.  John has helped me learn to live in the moment, appreciate where we are and what we have, and to live life to the fullest.  John understands what I have been through and together we help each other through the tough times while making the most out of every day we have.  We try to be thankful for our time together and take advantage of it completely.

Through the past 11 years we have had many ups and downs, both separately and together.  But we focus on the goods.  I could never imagine the amazing people that are now in my life and the incredible journey life has become.  I have been blessed with such a great family that has been by my side every step of the way.  And I have gained a family of brothers I never could have imagined!  There are people thousands of miles away that I know are there for me.  They support me, love me, and are there for me if I ever need anything.  They laugh with us, cry with us, and remember with us

Today as we are faced with the 11th anniversary of saying goodbye to our loved ones, we will remember.  We remember their laughs, their voices, their stories.  And, unfortunately, we remember the moments we learned of the fire, the horrible images, and the last conversations.  But, for me personally, I’ll be remembering the amazing blessings I’ve been given. The incredible love I’ve been so very fortunate to experience.  The family I’ve gained through all of this.  I’ll be remembering the amazing memories I’ve been left with and I try to let them be in the forefront over all the bad things.  And over time, those good memories have grown to outweigh the bad thoughts and I am able to be so thankful for the time I had and the blessings I have today.

Life is ever changing.  Tragedies happen, loves are lost, and people come and go.  But today, on the 11th anniversary, I choose to focus on remembering the positive and counting my blessings.  I am a lucky women to have such amazing people in my life.  And I am left almost speechless when I think about how fortunate I am to have been blessed with the most unconditional love from two of the most amazing men I will ever know.

The Charleston 9…you may be gone but I promise, you will NEVER be FORGOTTEN.  We carry you in our hearts not just today, but every day.